Who Am I Now?
Shifting Self-Perception After Big Life Changes | Amority Health
By: Rachel Cooper, MS, LPC-Associate
Supervised by Amber Quaranta Leech, PHD, LPC-S
For: Amority Health - Blog - Shifting Perceptions
Quick Summary:
Big life changes whether a breakup, loss, career shift, or move can leave us asking a deep, sometimes unsettling question: Who am I now? This post explores how shifts in self-perception can feel disorienting but also offer a chance for growth, healing, and reclaiming your authentic self.
The Mirror Shifts When Life Changes
Imagine looking into a mirror, but instead of your familiar reflection, the image feels blurry, unfamiliar, or fractured.
“I don’t recognize myself anymore.”
“I’m not who I thought I was.”
“I feel lost, like I’m floating without an anchor.”
These feelings are natural after major transitions. The version of yourself that once fit your life may no longer align with your current reality.
Growing Through Identity Transitions
Identity isn’t fixed. It’s a living, evolving story influenced by experiences, relationships, and inner growth (Neff, 2011; Kuyken et al., 2009).
Big changes can disrupt your self-concept, but they also open space for:
-
Letting go of old labels or roles that no longer serve you
-
Discovering new strengths and values
-
Embracing parts of yourself you may have hidden or ignored
🌷 Shifting self-perception is a journey from survival to self-discovery.
The Fog of Not-Knowing Yourself
In the wake of change, you may feel like you’re wandering in a fog, unsure of your place or your path.
-
You might question your worth or your future.
-
You might feel disconnected from your body, emotions, or intuition.
-
You might feel pressure to “get back” to who you were before.
But this fog is a natural part of transformation, not a sign of failure.
A New Narrative: Reframing “Who Am I Now?”
Consider this example:
Situation: After a divorce, you feel disconnected from your sense of self.
-
Old thought: “I’m broken. I’m no longer whole.”
-
New thought: “I’m evolving. My identity includes more than my relationship.”
-
Emotion: From despair to cautious hope
This reframing allows space for self-compassion and openness to growth (Beck, 2011).
The Phoenix Rising
Like the mythical phoenix, your identity can feel like it’s burning down but from those ashes rises a new, stronger self.
You don’t have to stay stuck in loss or confusion. You can rebuild brighter, wiser, and more authentic than before.
How to Begin Shifting Your Self-Perception Now
1. Allow Yourself to Feel All Parts
Grief, anger, hope, fear; they’re all part of the process.
2. Journal or Reflect
Write letters to your “past self” or “future self.” What do you want to say?
3. Seek Feedback From Trusted Others
Ask people who care about you: “What strengths do you see in me?”
4. Practice Self-Compassion
Remind yourself that change is hard, and it’s okay to be imperfect.
5. Consider Therapy
A safe space to explore your evolving identity can be invaluable.
You Are More Than Any One Chapter
Your story is ongoing. You are more than your past, your losses, or your fears.
🌷 Who you are now is unfolding; complex, resilient, and uniquely you.
Ready to Explore Your New Self?
If you’re navigating shifts in identity after life changes, I’m here to support you.
Let’s work together to uncover the strengths, values, and truths that make you who you are now and who you’re becoming.
📅 Schedule a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Suggestions:
Curious to explore more?
We have other blog posts that look at how shifting perception can help with everyday struggles, relationships, and deeper understanding.
Written by Rachel Cooper, a therapist specializing in burnout, perfectionism, and life transitions. Learn more about therapy for high achievers at Amority Health.
References
Beck, J. S. (2011). Cognitive behavior therapy: Basics and beyond (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Kuyken, W., Padesky, C. A., & Dudley, R. (2009). Collaborative case conceptualization: Working effectively with clients in cognitive-behavioral therapy. Guilford Press.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self-compassion: The proven power of being kind to yourself. William Morrow.
Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy: A review of meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 36(5), 427–440. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10608-012-9476-1
